Separated Parents
Separated Parents Policy
The Independent Grammar School Durham
At IGS: Durham we understand that while some parents may be divorced or separated, both should be informed of, and where appropriate involved in, their child’s educational progress. The school will deal fairly with parents while placing the child’s welfare at the centre of its decisions. This policy should be read alongside the Safeguarding, Data Protection, Admissions, Behaviour and Complaints policies and the school’s arrangements for collecting children.
“Parental responsibility” is a legal term describing the rights, duties, powers and responsibilities a person has in relation to a child’s upbringing. It is distinct from the broader meaning of “parent” in education law, which includes biological parents, people with parental responsibility and people who have care of the child. The school will establish each person’s relationship and authority rather than assume that only a resident parent can receive information or participate in school life.
Parental responsibility may arise through birth, marriage or civil partnership, registration of a birth, a registered agreement, adoption, guardianship or a court order, depending on the circumstances. A step-parent does not automatically acquire parental responsibility by marrying a parent. Separation or divorce does not itself remove parental responsibility, but the exercise of it can be restricted by a court order; in limited circumstances acquired parental responsibility can be terminated. Parental responsibility does not itself guarantee contact with a child.
During enrolment, the school will ask for parents’ names, addresses and contact details, who has parental responsibility, the child’s living arrangements and authorised collection and emergency contacts. Relevant evidence, such as a birth certificate, parental responsibility agreement or court order, may be requested where status or authority is unclear. The school will take reasonable steps to verify information and identity and will not rely solely on one parent’s assertion about another person’s rights.
It is the responsibility of parents to inform the school promptly when family circumstances, contact details or collection arrangements change. An annual request will be made to update this information. Parents should provide current court orders relevant to schooling, information sharing or collection, obtaining permission to share them where required. Relevant documents will be held securely, and staff who need to implement restrictions will be informed.
The Principal, with advice from the DSL where appropriate, will consider the actual terms of any court order and seek legal advice if their effect is unclear. A solicitor’s letter is not itself a court order, but concerns or information it contains will be considered and verified. The absence of a court order does not prevent the school taking appropriate safeguarding action.
The school will make every effort to ensure that parents are informed of and appropriately involved in their child’s education. Subject to lawful restrictions and safeguarding considerations, this includes:
- Receiving progress reports, newsletters and relevant information about school activities.
- Attending parents’ meetings and school events.
- Being informed of significant matters affecting their child and participating in the school’s applicable complaints or disciplinary procedures.
- Contributing to school and ISI inspection questionnaires where invited.
The school will not take sides in family disputes. Staff will never pass judgement on either parent to the child, and children will not be used to carry messages between adults. Parents should resolve disagreements privately or through appropriate legal processes. The school may seek professional advice where a dispute affects its responsibilities or a child’s welfare.
Where the school holds verified contact details for both separated parents, it will send annual written progress and attainment reports directly to each, in accordance with paragraph 32(1)(f) of the Independent School Standards. No report need be supplied to a parent who has agreed otherwise; one parent cannot opt out on another’s behalf without that parent’s agreement. The school will not rely solely on the resident parent to pass on the annual report.
Relevant routine communications will also be sent directly to each parent whose details are held, subject to lawful restrictions. Parents are responsible for providing a correct email or postal address. If the whereabouts of a parent are unknown, the school will seek available contact details where safe and appropriate and record its reasonable efforts. A verified parent’s request to receive appropriate school information will not require the other parent’s permission.
Both parents are welcome at parents’ evenings. Separate appointments, remote meetings or other arrangements will be considered where needed to avoid conflict or address safety concerns. Parents are expected to behave respectfully towards staff and each other. Access to premises or events may be managed where necessary for safety, without automatically removing appropriate access to educational information.
Requests for pupil records will be considered under the Data Protection Policy and applicable law. As an independent school in England, IGS: Durham is not subject to the parental educational-record access provisions applying to maintained schools under the Education (Pupil Information) (England) Regulations 2005. This does not remove its duties to provide annual reports or respond to valid data protection requests. A subject access request concerns the child’s rights; a parent may act on the child’s behalf where authorised or where the child lacks sufficient understanding. The child’s maturity, wishes and interests, third-party information and relevant exemptions will be considered before disclosure.
The school will protect each parent’s confidential contact details and personal information. It will not disclose one parent’s address, telephone number, correspondence or whereabouts to another without a lawful basis. Where an unfamiliar or previously unrecorded person requests information or access, staff will verify identity, relationship and relevant authority. Contact with another parent may help verify arrangements, but will not be automatic where it could create a safeguarding risk or improperly give that parent control over the requester’s rights.
Consent for routine activities will normally be obtained from a person with appropriate authority. Where a known disagreement, court order or significant decision requires further consideration, the Principal will clarify the position before acting and seek legal advice where necessary. The school will not adjudicate disputes about major decisions such as a change of school or surname, and will not assume that one parent’s instruction settles a known dispute. Necessary emergency care will not be delayed while parents disagree or cannot be reached; staff will follow first aid and medical procedures and inform appropriate parents as soon as practicable.
Children will be released only under the collection arrangements recorded by the school. Where a parent requests collection contrary to the usual arrangements, staff will:
- Refer the matter to the Principal or senior member of staff and involve the DSL if there is a welfare concern.
- Check identity, parental responsibility, relevant court orders and the recorded collection arrangements.
- Contact the usual collecting parent where appropriate and safe, to establish the circumstances and clarify any change. Record any agreement and how it was obtained.
- Keep the child calmly supervised away from any adult confrontation while checks are made.
- Assess the available information and any immediate risk before deciding whether release is appropriate. Neither a resident parent’s objection nor another parent’s claim to parental responsibility will, by itself, settle a disputed collection.
- Seek urgent advice from children’s social care or police if there is a concern about abduction, domestic abuse, threats, unsafe care or another risk of harm; call 999 if there is immediate danger.
The school will not arrange a disputed handover solely on the assumption that it cannot act without a court order. Any temporary decision to retain supervision while urgent checks or advice are obtained must be proportionate and directed towards protecting the child. Reasons, advice received, contacts made and the eventual outcome will be recorded.
Concerns about domestic abuse, coercive control or a child’s safety must be reported promptly to the DSL and handled under the Safeguarding Policy. Information may need to be withheld or shared with safeguarding agencies where required or permitted by law. Parents will normally be involved, but they will not be contacted or given information where doing so could increase risk or prejudice safeguarding action. The child’s views will be heard sensitively and taken into account according to age and understanding.
The Principal is responsible for implementing this policy and ensuring that relevant staff understand communication and collection arrangements. Concerns about its application may be raised through the Complaints Policy. The Board will review the policy at least annually and earlier where legal guidance or experience indicates a need for change.
This policy is informed by the Children Act 1989, the Independent School Standards and April 2026 Guidance, the ISI Commentary March 2023, current safeguarding guidance, DfE advice on parental responsibility and ICO guidance on education information. Guidance directed specifically at maintained schools is applied only where relevant to IGS: Durham.
Reviewed October 2026
Next review October 2027 or earlier if circumstances or guidance change
Separated Parents Policy
The Independent Grammar School Durham
At IGS: Durham we understand that while some parents may be divorced or separated, both should be informed of, and where appropriate involved in, their child’s educational progress. The school will deal fairly with parents while placing the child’s welfare at the centre of its decisions. This policy should be read alongside the Safeguarding, Data Protection, Admissions, Behaviour and Complaints policies and the school’s arrangements for collecting children.
“Parental responsibility” is a legal term describing the rights, duties, powers and responsibilities a person has in relation to a child’s upbringing. It is distinct from the broader meaning of “parent” in education law, which includes biological parents, people with parental responsibility and people who have care of the child. The school will establish each person’s relationship and authority rather than assume that only a resident parent can receive information or participate in school life.
Parental responsibility may arise through birth, marriage or civil partnership, registration of a birth, a registered agreement, adoption, guardianship or a court order, depending on the circumstances. A step-parent does not automatically acquire parental responsibility by marrying a parent. Separation or divorce does not itself remove parental responsibility, but the exercise of it can be restricted by a court order; in limited circumstances acquired parental responsibility can be terminated. Parental responsibility does not itself guarantee contact with a child.
During enrolment, the school will ask for parents’ names, addresses and contact details, who has parental responsibility, the child’s living arrangements and authorised collection and emergency contacts. Relevant evidence, such as a birth certificate, parental responsibility agreement or court order, may be requested where status or authority is unclear. The school will take reasonable steps to verify information and identity and will not rely solely on one parent’s assertion about another person’s rights.
It is the responsibility of parents to inform the school promptly when family circumstances, contact details or collection arrangements change. An annual request will be made to update this information. Parents should provide current court orders relevant to schooling, information sharing or collection, obtaining permission to share them where required. Relevant documents will be held securely, and staff who need to implement restrictions will be informed.
The Principal, with advice from the DSL where appropriate, will consider the actual terms of any court order and seek legal advice if their effect is unclear. A solicitor’s letter is not itself a court order, but concerns or information it contains will be considered and verified. The absence of a court order does not prevent the school taking appropriate safeguarding action.
The school will make every effort to ensure that parents are informed of and appropriately involved in their child’s education. Subject to lawful restrictions and safeguarding considerations, this includes:
- Receiving progress reports, newsletters and relevant information about school activities.
- Attending parents’ meetings and school events.
- Being informed of significant matters affecting their child and participating in the school’s applicable complaints or disciplinary procedures.
- Contributing to school and ISI inspection questionnaires where invited.
The school will not take sides in family disputes. Staff will never pass judgement on either parent to the child, and children will not be used to carry messages between adults. Parents should resolve disagreements privately or through appropriate legal processes. The school may seek professional advice where a dispute affects its responsibilities or a child’s welfare.
Where the school holds verified contact details for both separated parents, it will send annual written progress and attainment reports directly to each, in accordance with paragraph 32(1)(f) of the Independent School Standards. No report need be supplied to a parent who has agreed otherwise; one parent cannot opt out on another’s behalf without that parent’s agreement. The school will not rely solely on the resident parent to pass on the annual report.
Relevant routine communications will also be sent directly to each parent whose details are held, subject to lawful restrictions. Parents are responsible for providing a correct email or postal address. If the whereabouts of a parent are unknown, the school will seek available contact details where safe and appropriate and record its reasonable efforts. A verified parent’s request to receive appropriate school information will not require the other parent’s permission.
Both parents are welcome at parents’ evenings. Separate appointments, remote meetings or other arrangements will be considered where needed to avoid conflict or address safety concerns. Parents are expected to behave respectfully towards staff and each other. Access to premises or events may be managed where necessary for safety, without automatically removing appropriate access to educational information.
Requests for pupil records will be considered under the Data Protection Policy and applicable law. As an independent school in England, IGS: Durham is not subject to the parental educational-record access provisions applying to maintained schools under the Education (Pupil Information) (England) Regulations 2005. This does not remove its duties to provide annual reports or respond to valid data protection requests. A subject access request concerns the child’s rights; a parent may act on the child’s behalf where authorised or where the child lacks sufficient understanding. The child’s maturity, wishes and interests, third-party information and relevant exemptions will be considered before disclosure.
The school will protect each parent’s confidential contact details and personal information. It will not disclose one parent’s address, telephone number, correspondence or whereabouts to another without a lawful basis. Where an unfamiliar or previously unrecorded person requests information or access, staff will verify identity, relationship and relevant authority. Contact with another parent may help verify arrangements, but will not be automatic where it could create a safeguarding risk or improperly give that parent control over the requester’s rights.
Consent for routine activities will normally be obtained from a person with appropriate authority. Where a known disagreement, court order or significant decision requires further consideration, the Principal will clarify the position before acting and seek legal advice where necessary. The school will not adjudicate disputes about major decisions such as a change of school or surname, and will not assume that one parent’s instruction settles a known dispute. Necessary emergency care will not be delayed while parents disagree or cannot be reached; staff will follow first aid and medical procedures and inform appropriate parents as soon as practicable.
Children will be released only under the collection arrangements recorded by the school. Where a parent requests collection contrary to the usual arrangements, staff will:
- Refer the matter to the Principal or senior member of staff and involve the DSL if there is a welfare concern.
- Check identity, parental responsibility, relevant court orders and the recorded collection arrangements.
- Contact the usual collecting parent where appropriate and safe, to establish the circumstances and clarify any change. Record any agreement and how it was obtained.
- Keep the child calmly supervised away from any adult confrontation while checks are made.
- Assess the available information and any immediate risk before deciding whether release is appropriate. Neither a resident parent’s objection nor another parent’s claim to parental responsibility will, by itself, settle a disputed collection.
- Seek urgent advice from children’s social care or police if there is a concern about abduction, domestic abuse, threats, unsafe care or another risk of harm; call 999 if there is immediate danger.
The school will not arrange a disputed handover solely on the assumption that it cannot act without a court order. Any temporary decision to retain supervision while urgent checks or advice are obtained must be proportionate and directed towards protecting the child. Reasons, advice received, contacts made and the eventual outcome will be recorded.
Concerns about domestic abuse, coercive control or a child’s safety must be reported promptly to the DSL and handled under the Safeguarding Policy. Information may need to be withheld or shared with safeguarding agencies where required or permitted by law. Parents will normally be involved, but they will not be contacted or given information where doing so could increase risk or prejudice safeguarding action. The child’s views will be heard sensitively and taken into account according to age and understanding.
The Principal is responsible for implementing this policy and ensuring that relevant staff understand communication and collection arrangements. Concerns about its application may be raised through the Complaints Policy. The Board will review the policy at least annually and earlier where legal guidance or experience indicates a need for change.
This policy is informed by the Children Act 1989, the Independent School Standards and April 2026 Guidance, the ISI Commentary March 2023, current safeguarding guidance, DfE advice on parental responsibility and ICO guidance on education information. Guidance directed specifically at maintained schools is applied only where relevant to IGS: Durham.
Reviewed October 2026
Next review October 2027 or earlier if circumstances or guidance change
Discover more
If you would like to know more about life at IGS, or to book an in-person visit, contact us now.
Discover more
If you would like to know more about life at IGS, or to book an in-person visit, contact us now.